Control Through Destruction
Everything was great for the first few months. The day it started was when they said they thought I was headed for a nervous breakdown.
I didn't have the emotional maturity at the time to realise they were projecting. Most of the stuff was all projected bullshit that was nothing to do with me as a person but I couldn't see it for what it was.
Things deteriorated quickly ...
They'd snap at me for no reason ... ignore me, then buy gifts,
The main thing was how unpredictable it all was.
I was riddled with anxiety, dreaded coming into work, my planning was never good enough in spite of significant praise from other sources. I internalised the turmoil and was afraid to talk about it. I was terrified of losing my job, of not having savings or the financial means to walk away. I was the person who hurt myself the most by not speaking up.
Some examples of stuff the person would say to me; "You're probably too much of a mess right now to be dating anyone anyway"
"My job is to make you better which is why I have to be hard on you"
"You're hostile to feedback"
"You think you're a better planner than me and you think you could have my job"
"You're so self involved"
"Who do you think you are?"
"You're obsessed with getting married" (this personal shit was particularly spurious) My advice to people;
+ Don't lose perspective - that's what bully's want.
+ Know your self worth - ask them why they're being so hurtful straight out. Just say "it really upsets me when you speak to me like that, I find it really personal". Go to HR before it's too late, waiting is to deny your self worth. Fuck that shit.